Do you ever find that your creativity shows up the moment you say it’s nowhere to be found? Or, after proclaiming that you have nothing to say, the words you’ve been searching for are there…fighting to get out? Maybe you’ve just been feeling lost or uninspired or maybe you just feel like something is holding you back.
A few weeks ago, I posted about getting back to blogging for me.
Strangely enough, the moment I pushed “publish” on that post, a well of ideas, inspiration and renewed passion started flowing.
It’s almost as if just saying those words took this huge pressure off my shoulders. I no longer felt like I had to do anything – I’m just doing what I want. But I want more!
I have all these ideas that weren’t here until that self-inflicted pressure was gone. I’ve been making list after list of ideas on recipes, posts, and stories I want to tell.
It’s as if I had these ridiculous rules for myself, creating undue pressure and stress on my life. I’m not sure when or why that started, but it felt great to “break my own rules”.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Where do we come up with these crazy ideas that we need to do certain things that aren’t required of us or, even worse, that we talk ourselves out of the things that we truly desire?
I’ve heard of some strange ones, and I’m sure you have, too.
I’m not eating anything after 7 pm.
I can’t eat a cookie if I haven’t worked out today.
There’s no way I could ever do (fill in the blank) so I’m not even going to try. It’s not going to happen for me, so I’ll just forget it.
I’m not strong enough to do that so I’ll just find something else to go after.
I don’t deserve to be happy or successful.
I’ve messed up so badly, I can never get back on track.
There are still things I’m not sure of, but at least I’m moving forward. Slowly but surely, things are falling into place.
And – to tell you the truth – I’m terrified.
Of everything…failure, success. Acceptance, rejection. Moving forward, falling back.
I guess what I’m really scared of is change.
I’m comfortable where I am, whether I like it or not, and changing your life is hard to do. Change is uncomfortable. It forces us to get out of those comfort zones we’ve created and step out into the unknown. And that is scary.
I feel as though I’m finding myself again. Some days, I think I can do it. Then there are other days that I wonder what I’m doing, doubting myself and finding all the reasons I shouldn’t be trying.
So every day, I’m trying to give myself a pep talk, just to get those thoughts out of my head and remind myself that I’m stronger than I think I am.
That my doubts and fears don’t define me. That being scared of the unknown is part of being human and I’m not alone in those feelings.
And that I can do whatever I put my mind to.
What about you?
Do you have strange rules or habits that you’ve created for yourself? How have you broken through them, or have you? Are they holding you back?