Change Is Blooming

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After such a long and dreary winter, I was beginning to wonder if Spring would ever get here. In the 6 years that I’ve lived here, we’ve never had as much as snow as we had this winter. And because we kept getting hit by these huge storms, it took over 2 months for all the snow on the ground to finally melt.

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But all of a sudden, spring is here! 70 degree days, flowers popping up in the yard, and a lot of play time outside.

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Even Roxy is enjoying the weather. We can tell she’s happy when she never wants to come inside.

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And Maggie can’t stand being in the house, either.

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She pouts until you finally take her out. But she only wants to be out there to watch the birds in the trees, listen to the chickens across the street, and chase a few bugs in the yard.

And how can you say no to that face?

But on to the topic at hand.

I feel like I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis. This feeling goes beyond the blog, but I’m not going to get into all of that.

Maybe, like our new daffodils, I’m just blooming. Doesn’t that sound better? :)

While this post has been looming over my head for a while, it was these four posts here that made me sit down and finally get it out.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I want with this blog. I love blogging, but I’ve been boring myself lately…and that can’t be good. Eating leftovers for the third time in a week isn’t terribly exciting for me, so I know no one else wants to see it or read about it.

I’m not a dietician or a marathon runner or a published author. I don’t juice or have a movie deal or make a living from my blog.

It’s just me – a small town girl with a big city appetite. Obsessed with all things food, interested in health, armed with sourdough starter. Learning to cook on my own in a small kitchen without a dishwasher. A college football fanatic that is going crazy waiting for the season to start when it’s still 6 months away.

I know my posts have been lacking and I guess I’m just missing inspiration…enthusiasm…time to put something great together. I used to write all the time, and most days I feel as though I’m pushing myself to put something, anything, together just to get a post up. And I don’t like that.

I mean…I wrote a sequel to Snow White that’s sitting in my parent’s attic along with my homemade book about the beach, one where I play favorites with my sisters, and (my personal favorite) the short story of how a hippopotamus ate my teacher.

I want to write about things that actually mean something to me again. I want to find the creativity I used to have and do something with it.

I also just can’t bring myself to sit in front of the computer 3 times a day when the weather is beautiful and we have time to go hiking or take Maggie to the park or work gets in the way.

I’m not going anywhere.

I just want to be proud of everything I post, whether it’s a new recipe, a restaurant Nick and I try, or random new pictures of Maggie for my Dad to see while he’s in Guam.

I want to get back to why I started this blog in the first place: to have a creative outlet, to share recipes, to tell stories, and to enjoy something that is completely mine.

And seeing how I’ve read a few posts along these lines lately…maybe Spring really is the season for growth and change?

54 comments

  1. I have to disagree – I don’t think your blog has been lacking at all! I just read your post last night and was so impressed at the creative meals you make almost every single day. I think your blog has been great lately -and I’m being totally honest. I do agree that posting 3 times a day can be rough, and I can imagine it is hard to come up with fresh content. But your blog is YOUR’s, you can do whatever you want with it!

    • Thank you Jessica! I appreciate your note SO much. I think the 3 times a day is really what’s getting to me – it’s just hard to do that every day!

      I love your blog, by the way. I don’t always comment, but I’m usually salivating over my computer screen :)

  2. Beautifully written and I understand where you’re coming from. As long as you stay true to yourself things will work themselves out. Change is a good thing. :)

  3. I agree with Betsy, just stay true to who you are, your goals for your blog and leave the rest behind. I’ve got (another!!) post brewing about this because I get so caught up in what I feel like I ought to do rather than what I want to do. Our blogs are our place to express ourselves in whatever way WE desire. I love your blog and I read it because of you, not what you eat or how many times you post.

  4. Brandi my love,

    Not only could I have written this to myself, but I can only imagine how good it feels to get that out! A lot of the things you described have been the exact same way I have been feeling – my creativity has seemed to have faded, my lust to do the things I love has been a bit shabby, and that is exactly when I knew I needed a change. I could not wholeheartedly support you more in EVERYTHING you do. If you blog, I will be here reading. If you write stories, send them over and I would LOVE to look at them. In fact, I think we should have a nice lil’ GChat about this soon…how does that sound?

    Love you lady, and what a beautiful, inspirational way to start the morning :)

  5. I’ve been feeling much the same way lately… I think your blog is lovely, just as it is, random or not! Like Christie, i read your blog because of YOU, the amazing girl I “met” years ago!

  6. It’s incredible how spring creeps up on us out of nowhere.

    And regarding your identity crisis, I think this is something many of us can relate to. I am often so frustrating with my posts that I give up altogether, even though that is not truly what I want to do. I know you will find your inspiration, and if it makes you feel any better, I enjoy reading your posts just for YOU. We have no idea how unique we appear to others :)

    • Thanks for the note, Jenn. I appreciate it :) And you’re right! I love some blogs that are probably going through the same things.

  7. Brandi,
    You are an inspiration to me, our whole family! We can’t wait to read the blog. I understand how you feel, keep praying, keep your heart and eyes open:) We are so proud of you. You decided to start a blog and you did it. We love all the stories and the way you present things. Hang in there.
    I love you, Mom

  8. i was kinda wondering if something was up, but it wasn’t b/c a lack of creativity… maybe i could sense it b/c sometimes i feel the same way! we should all continue to evolve, so i think you’ve got the right idea. :)

    how do you get such good pics of maggie with your dSLR? is it all in auto mode? i had switched everything to manual on mine, but when i was dog-sitting it was tough to move fast enough to catch them!

    • Thanks Shannon :)

      Those were taken in Program mode, but she’s not typically so easy to capture on film. I caught her while she was laying down and she stayed still for a minute!

  9. While I don’t think your blog has been lacking, I do understand what you mean. At the end of the day you are just blogging for you, so you shouldn’t feel compelled to write just because you think you should. Take a few days off and think. I took 3 days off, felt guilty about not blogging for about .5 seconds then got over it. A hobby should not be a chore!
    I would love to see even more Maggie though! She’s a beautiful dog :)

  10. I love your blog and I don’t feel like it is lacking anything. However I do understand your frustration because I feel the same way (about my writing/blog). I love posting my 2 times a day, but I wish I had something more meaningful or helpful to put out there than just my daily meals. I too often feel completely uninspired after a day at the office. The pretty weather is motivating me to get out and do more and I am hoping the sunshine (at least on the weekends, thanks to my windowless office) with help the creativity start flowing a little more freely.

  11. I always love your posts and they aren’t “getting old” at all! But I totally know what you mean about the pressure you can feel to post. And I don’t post nearly as often as you. I felt a bit burned out myself recently and cut back on posting and only post when I really feel like it now. It really has put the fun back into writing blog posts, and I’m excited to post versus thinking I “should”…

    Beautiful spring photos! :)

  12. I’ve been feeling the same way lately! I think 3 times a day is a LOT to post. I love your blog and look forward to what creative things you come up with :-)

  13. Brandi, ever since I found your blog I’ve enjoyed reading each and every one of your posts- even if I don’t always comment! I love reading about your life with Nick, Maggie and Roxy, the time you spend with your family, and even the day-to-day things! That being said, I feel boring a lot of the time too… but that’s just kind of what life is like too, you know? Normal ebb and flow… things can’t be 100% exciting and adventurous all the time!

  14. I definitely love your posts! You have a refreshing perspective, being a small town, college football lover who eats lots of leftovers! I find myself able to relate more to bloggers like you than to some of the big name bloggers. You seem so true to who you are! Change can be good though–and I’ll keep reading to see what’s coming.

  15. The consistent, everyday creativity is what I love about your blog! But that being said, you should never do something “extracurricular” if you don’t love it, and I am confident that you’ll find a way to blog that feels right for you. :-) I reached a similar crisis w/ my blog, and am starting a new one soon, with a slightly different focus, which will hopefully help!

    Whatever you decide to do, I’ll definitely still read :-)

  16. DO IT! I promise if you change your blog to fit you, you will be so much more happier! :D From someone who just went through her blog change, I swear it is so much better on the other side. We have fun on this side, so come on over! :D

  17. Yay for spring! And Maggie certainly has gotten big! :)

  18. No matter what you do, what you eat or what you write about – you will always have a reader in DC who looks forward to your posts and your creativity.

    :)

  19. Love, love your pretty flower pics today! So spring festive =)

  20. Brandi. I’m really interested to read much more of what you have to say. I enjoy your point of view and I’m excited to see where your new adventures take you.

  21. I have to agree with Jessica, I have always loved your blog!! But at the same time, I understand where you are coming from. 3 times a day is a LOT! I started posting 2 times a day but i’ve found my niche – which is once a day. It works for me. You just have to find what works for you and be true to yourself!

  22. Brandi,
    I love to read your blog because when I read it I feel normal. Sometimes I read other blogs where they work out everyday (intense workouts) and they only eat organic/vegan/vegetarian/no sweets/etc. and I feel like I am lacking…but then I come to your blog and I realize that while those lifestyles may work for some people most people eat a balanced diet which includes sweets every now and then. I hope that made sense :) I just don’t want you to think that you are boring or don’t have anything interesting to say. Anyway I hope you have a good day!

  23. I love how you put it: A small town girl with a big city appetite. I love this post and I look forward to VARIETY in my google reader. I AM SO EXCITED to see what direction you take.

  24. I’ve absolutely loved reading your blog and haven’t ever thought that it was uninspiring. I feel the same way sometimes. That what I write is nothing more than a way to remember the day-to-day and that no one in their right mind would want to read it. For that reason, I completely respect your feelings and the new take on your blog.

    I look forward to reading ALL of your upcoming posts – especially those on Virginia restaurants. Happy blooming!

    On a side note, that is the best pic of Maggie that you have posted to date!

  25. I can completely understand how you feel. I was going through the same issues a couple months ago… I was board with my blog but felt like I need to post…. I took 5 days off and just did things for me and ignored the camera or the urge to read other blogs. I also stopped posting 3 times a day.. for me and for my sanity.

    But to be honest.. even though writing about left overs is not exciting but it shows you are like everyone else. You don’t waste food and have days that you eat something from the day before..

  26. Lady – I have not found anything missing in your posts.

    But, I do agree that Spring is truly about new beginnings – so go out there and try something new – you never know what you’ll discover :)

  27. I feel exactly the same way… well, except that I don’t find your posts boring. :) You and I have a lot in common but also a lot of differences in our lives — I’m obsessed with food too… but on the otherhand I live in a city — so I appreciate reading about your lifestyle. Maybe you are having leftovers for the third time… but that gives me some perspective on what I’m eating too… am I eating leftovers again.. did I get sick of them and throw them out and realize that I need to make smaller portions? You know how it is…

    Sometimes I feel like I’m just posting to post something too… and I really hate that… because I have things to say but I don’t always have time to say them or I don’t immediately have the words to articulate what I want to say.

    Maybe spring is a time to bloom… looking forward to your creativity!

  28. what have you got to lose?

    i’m listening to “suite: judy blue eyes” by crosby, stills, and nash as i’m reading your blog and those lyrics kept repeating themselves:)

  29. First off, those spring flowers make me smile :) They’re like little buds of hope for warmth!

    Second- GIRL! Your blog is for YOU. You write about what you want and what interests you and what you’re doing! Your readers read because they like you and what you have to offer! If you don’t want to blog every day- every week, etc- don’t do it! Post when you feel about what you feel. And we will read and enjoy! You are fabulous (and your puppy is so cute)

  30. man, i bet roxy is stoked!

    brandi i love your blog, i love what you write, and i know that feeling you may have right now. i’ve felt it myself before as well. i always wonder how i manage to post every day and even more so wonder why people read it! but i think you have a LOT to offer and you are a great writer!

    “It’s just me – a small town girl with a big city appetite. Obsessed with all things food, interested in health, armed with sourdough starter. Learning to cook on my own in a small kitchen without a dishwasher.”

    THAT is poetry in and of itself.

    keep your head up, you will find that spark again. in the meantime, please don’t think you are boring anyone, because you definitely are not!!

  31. Blogging three times a day about what you eat is HARD. It’s not for everyone! I started out doing that and then quickly cut back to once a day and then realised that I wasn’t even blogging about what I wanted to! Once I figured out what I really wanted to be blogging about and how often, I lost a lot of worry and felt a hell of a lot happier about it all.

    Having said that, I love your blog and love reading all your awesome content/looking at your gorgeous photos – it’s all about what makes you happy!

  32. Girl you are the best! I am only able to catch a few but I love the way you write. Told C that we need a restaurant, I will be your sous chef and you can regal the patrons with all the cool stuff of how it is made. So this dry spot, give it a bit and it will move on. Three times per day is a bit much. Anyway, GO HOKIES still alive in the NIT. BTW you are a great DIL

  33. I find your blog a joy to read every day, but I understand where you are coming from. It should be something that makes YOU happy above all else, because thats what its for at the end of the day. Good luck and enjoy this time of transition and new growth. I know I am!

  34. Hey B! How come I didn’t know about this Snow White Sequel?!?! Honestly, B this blog is yours and you decide what you make of it. If you only want to post new recipies or just whenever you want, then that’s your choice to do. Your blog shouldn’t feel like a chore and you should like doing it. You have to do what’s gonna be right for you and your lifestyle. I love reading your blog, well because it’s you, but also I like to see what you’re gonna come up with. You are extremely gifted in your writing capabilities and I’ve always thought that. Bottom line B, this is your space to do with whatever you want to do. Nobody said you have to post three times a day. If you only do it once a day or every other day then so be it! We will still be here waiting to see what creations you come up with and decide to share with us!!!
    Love ya girl!!!

  35. Not to be an echo, but……

    I don’t think your posts have been lacking, but if YOU think they have that’s all that matters. Please please dont’ leave us entirely, but blogging should be about fun, and you should never have to post when you’re not feeling it.

  36. I love your down to earth approach to life. I really have been enjoying all of your bread baking lately too. Not to mention college football ;) And who can pass up a good picture of the puppy?! I’m looking forward to following the changes!

  37. Brandi:
    Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us everyday :)

    You are not boring me in the least. I will say though, that you are the most active blogger on my reader list! You have been posting so consistantly, that’s it’s no wonder you are getting burned out.

    Don’t let it become a burden. Just let it be an outlet to share your discoveries + tips, etc. I will keep reading no matter how often (or not) you post. You have been such an encouragement to me with your dedication to healthy eating. Keep sharing from your heart, even if it isn’t 3 x’s per day! Love you!

  38. I definitely understand that feeling Brandi! But I personally love your blog and reading about your life. Like you, I’m a small town girl obsessed with food! I love meeting like-minded people!

    For me, I had to stop posting certain things. I don’t post on days when I eat peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in my car on the way to school or when I sneak a larabar on my break because I don’t always have time for lunch at work! Not posting things like these has helped me tremendously. I used to feel pressured to do the B, L & D posts but slowly I’ve changed. I want my blog to evolve as well but I’m not sure how to do it.

  39. Your blog is REAL! That’s why I read it. I adopted a REAL way of eating (instead of a twisted borderline disordered eater way) by reading yours an many other blogs. Keep it up… OR ELSE!! LOL!!

  40. Hey girl, keep following your dreams and great things will happen for you, always keep your eyes on the one above who provides all and you can not go wrong.. I look forward to seeing your great personaility each day in the blogs I read from funny to serious to random whatever is on your heart that day, you keep them coming from the heart where they started as a dream years ago, I love you and am proud of you and they make my day.

    Dad

  41. I know I’m way late (I’ve been away in meetings all week) – but I wanted to say I totally understand what you are going through (have been feeling it myself to be quite honest) – and while I know it might be intimidating, I think it’s kind of nice we are all going through our blog identity crises together! :)

    I dont think things have been lacking, and will ALWAYS continue to read about you and your lovely family! :)

  42. Ahhh, I love this post Brandi!! Change is a great thing. Sorry I didn’t see this earlier! I tend to save up my blog reading for early sunday mornings :)

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