April 2009

I cannot even begin to tell you glad I am that today is over. The day just seemed to drag on….probably because I have tomorrow off, but still! 5 o’clock took forever to get here.

I did drink my green smoothie this afternoon and it was the perfect little pick-me-up at work and enough to fuel me through my run – yes, we got to run! It was overcast and kind of gloomy, but that kept it pretty cool while we were actually running. My entire body is tight and a little sore from BodyPump, so I expected to be super slow today but I was running at about my normal pace:

• Total Time – 30:35
• Mileage – 3.26
• Average Mile – 9:25
• Calories – 292

I have noticed that I start out slow and it takes me between 1-2 miles to really get in my groove. Of course, we usually only run about 3-4 miles at a time, so I do want to try a longer run soon and see how I do.

Dinner tonight started out as a recipe I found online, which got changed to something I could make on the stovetop instead of in the crockpot, which then got changed again tonight to use up some stuff in the fridge. Sounds a little like a science experiment, right? It was a good one, at least.

Peppery Pineapple Pork  (Serves 2-3)

• 1 yellow bell pepper, chopped
• 1 scallion, chopped
• 1 cup fresh pineapple, diced
• 1/3 lb or so pork loin (either cooked in pan with everything or leftover cooked pork – I used leftover)
• crushed red pepper
• garlic powder
• 2 Tbsp soy sauce
• 1 Tbsp vinegar
• 1 Tbsp powdery peanut butter
• 3-4 cups fresh spinach

1. Heat pan over medium.
2. Add pepper and most of scallions (save some for garnish) and cook until crisp tender.
3. Add in pork, seasonings, soy sauce, vinegar, and pb2. Let cook until sauce is mixed together and pork is heated through.
4. Add in spinach and pineapple and let cook a few minutes until spinach is wilted.
5. Serve with grain of choice. We used Israeli couscous – nice and doughy.

So I think I’m having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. Random, I know, but when I was running today and just thinking about all the stuff going on in my head, the only thing that kept coming back was “I have no direction”. I have no real clue what I want to do, what I want to be, nothing. I know I don’t have to have it all figured out, but I’m 25 and I feel like I should have a better idea by now.

I know that I’m extremely thankful to have my job and I love my coworkers, but it’s not my passion. I’m thankful for my family and friends and everything in my life, but I just feel so unfulfilled some days.

Do you go through times like this? Is this just something that happens every now and then?

Maybe I’m just not ready for whatever the next step is, or maybe it’s not ready for me. Maybe being where I am is preparing me for the next thing. Maybe just knowing my upcoming trip to Honduras is  actually happening is making it even harder to live life here because I know that trip will change my life and maybe even more than the first trip did. And maybe I’m ready for it now. I don’t know.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. or do. or not do.  

Suggestions? Solutions? Anyone got an app for this?  Come on…I know Apple has an app for everything now. Anyone got a magic 8 ball handy? 

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